Thursday, October 25, 2018

Five Things I Desperately Need To Remember

I didn't expect to publish a blog post today. It's typical for me to randomly come up with an idea that I want to discuss on the blog, but it's just added to my master list and I'll plan out when I want to post it and so on. Today was different. Today my wheels got to turning and I just felt led to say a few things. Some of these are things I feel I may have known, but were really placed on my heart today. I hope at least one of these helps you in some way. 


I assume you've heard the saying, 'you never know what someone is going through,' and it's simply true - you never know what someone is facing in their life. I have days where I just cannot believe how people can talk to others, especially working in customer service. I’m not saying it’s an excuse for others to be disrespectful, but I have bad days too, and sometimes I’m not as friendly as I’d like to come off as. Obviously I don’t condone people treating others with disrespect and I understand you should certainly defend yourself when necessary, but remaining kind even when someone treats you poorly, could easily change their perspective. Maybe they had a bad day, and maybe that one act of kindness transforms the day they were having.


As much as I value it about myself to be a good listener, sometimes I realize that I can turn the conversation around back to me. It’s easy to hear someone talk about something going on in their life and to immediately relate it to something going on in your own life and verbally make that connection. I’ve realized how crucial it is to really hear what your significant other, family member, or friend are trying to say to you – it doesn’t always have to be about you. Be intentional in listening to what they really need to get off their chest, before chiming in.


I think this has been one of my biggest struggles over the years, especially lately. I feel like I have to constantly remind myself that we all think and process things differently. When a conflict arises, I'm the type of person to want to talk it over and resolve things. And I feel like I go into it with the outlook of, 'if I say this respectfully and lovingly, they'll see that, and respond in the same manner.' And this seems to be a mistake more times than not. Having expectations like this are tricky. Going into it with that perspective will always leave you upset if they don’t respond in the way you intend for them to. You have to take it with a grain of salt, and simply realize not everyone has the same heart that you do. It’s a tough one to swallow, but the more you remember this, the easier it will be to shake off that disappointment when you don’t receive the same respect or love you give to someone else.


So many people in my life have been facing so many trials this year. Some because of their own choices, and some were just unfortunate, unforeseen circumstances. Through things I’ve faced, or watched on the sidelines as things happened to those that I love, I have to remember to be thankful for the good things I do have. That I have food to eat, a roof over my head, and people in my life that are a constant support system. When times get tough, it’s easy to just dwell in on the things surrounding you and everything that seems to be going wrong. I know I am guilty of this too, but being able to remind myself of all the good things and people in my life bring me back and pull me out of that dreadful state of mind.


My mom tells me this all the time, even when she struggles to accept it herself. I found myself doing that this morning. In a moment of pain, I cried it out, prayed, gave it to God, and felt better. Nothing has changed about the situation, but God has the power to change how I feel in that moment. This may be part of the reason I believe in a higher being, because it genuinely helps me. It helps remind me that everything WILL be okay in the end. Maybe you aren’t religious – I feel that prayer is something you can do even if you don’t know what or whom you’re praying to. You want something to change, you want to feel different about something, or maybe you just want to overcome the struggles you’re facing – allowing yourself to feel the way you need to in that moment, and hoping for a better outcome in the future, to me that is prayer all in it’s own.

Once again, I am guilty of not always applying each of these things into my life, but I feel like I was hit with a ton of bricks today to do better. I hope that at least one of these things can resonate with you the way it has for me.

What’s something that you’ve learned or re-learned recently that has impacted your life?

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